A Quest to Be

Job Satisfaction – Workplace Happiness – Two Different Animals Right?

Job satisfaction implies that the formula is commensurate-you give some things (work) and in return you get some things (fair pay, benefits, etc.). It doesn't imply that all things are perfect; it just implies that there is equity on both sides of the equation.

Workplace happiness is a whole different ballgame. It implies that an individual's very subjective personal formula for happiness is being met in their workplace; they are satisfied with their job and their criteria for happiness at work are being met.  Enough of all things you ever dreamed of in your ideal work environment are being met on a consistent basis and you're hapopy because of that.

Based on these two definitions do you think it's possible for one to be satisfied with one's job and not be entirely happy at work?

If I had to argue about which of the two is more important I would have to side with job satisfaction over workplace happiness. My logic is this: Let's say I have a mortgage, a car note and a kid in college.  At the end of the month I need to be able to pay for these expenses and have a few bucks left over for frivilous things. I have a lousy boss, my co-workers are always whining about random crap and every once in a while I have to deal with juvenile nonsense, but at the end of the day, the stuff that I get is commensurate with what I give. My job allows me to pay all those bills and still have a few dollars left for a cup of Starbucks or a bottle of reasonably priced wine. That's not so bad, is it?  In this case I may not be comletely happy about the stuff that goes on around me on the job, but it doesn't adversely impact the stuff that I need to get from the job.

Oftentimes, when there is drama going on at work, we get so engrossed in the crap that we lose sight of what's really important.  Yes I know it's eight hours of grind but keep in mind that it is grind for a cause.  At the end of the day we still control our own destiny because of a little clause that most people don't pay attention to called At Will.  At Will is a law in most states that says either you or your employer can terminate employment at any time without any obligation. 

At the end of the day, while it's a wonderful thing to work in a place that really excites you, it's not such a bad thing to work in a place that meets you hierarchy of needs is it?

Workplace happiness is not overrated but it's definitely not the end of the world as long as it's considered in proper context.

Next time you have a really bad day at work, think about these two definitions, pour yourself a glass of wine, get a good night's rest and continue you quest the next day.

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Real leaders – born that way or made that way

Leaders are both born and made but which one is better, the born leader or the made leader? I am a self-proclaimed born leader, and although it took me a while to discover this about myself, I'm no longer shy or inhibited about being the front man I was birthed to be. But even for those of us who are birthed with the gift to lead, it is still a massive challenge when it comes to leading people. In particular, leading democratically - as indicated by the mess in Washington - does not always work; can't we all just get along. In a group of 10, five will be indifferent; they won't care whether you go left or right; two or three will be very opinionated - insisting that you either go left or right; and two will simply be out in left field somewhere watching the birds or bats or whatever.

My siblings and I are in the middle of planning a birthday party for my mom who just turned 75 this month. Even though my six siblings and I agree that this was long overdue, the burden of leadership has fallen squarely on my shoulders. Even though I am the next to youngest, I have been looked upon as the planner, organizer and unelected leader. Anybody been there? Rather than riding the bus (Good to Great), I've found myself driving the bus. Not a problem though, I got this!

Discourse

Sometimes, especially in a non-work setting, we take our skills and talents for granted. When people lean on us for direction we sometimes push back because our expectation is that they're gonna step up and pull their own weight but when they don't we have the audacity to get upset (ouch). I've learned over the years that sometimes, to get things done, you have to take on the role of the alpha-dog and simply tell folks what's going down and how it's going down. This is the kind of thing that makes a born leader a true leader.

But what makes a born leader more equipped to lead than a learned leader.

A born leader is visionary

In order to take people places you have to be able to see the destination before you see the destination. In your mind, you have to be able to formulate what that destination looks like and then carve out a roadmap to get there. Born leaders have the uncanny ability to not just visualize the destiny but also to articulate it, even for those out in left field; watching the bats.

Born leaders are decisive

Even if the plan is modified because thing two and three are so opinionated that it takes compromising to do the plan, being decisive about the plan to begin with sets the tone for the ultimate direction and motivates people to either agree and come along or disagree and instigate change. Either way, decisiveness means movement and movement usually means progress.

Born leaders are not afraid to execute

Born leaders know when things are not properly aligned and are willing to step into the fire to get things done; even without a perfect plan. See a plan is really just a set of steps to help you visualize the end goal. Without executing the plan you essentially have nothing. Don't let the lack of a perfect plan stop you from executing. Born leaders don't waste time whining about what could have been or what's broken. They deal with the "what is" in order to get to what should be.

In a pack of wolves, dingoes or dogs, there is no question about who alpha is. Alpha is always prominently noticeable because he's a born leader and he carves the direction for others to follow.

 

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If you were to die today would you be satisfied with the life you've lived?

That's a though question right? Even though it is a question that most people should ask themself, they  don't because they are afraid of the real answer. I can say with absolute certainty that if I died on this day I would most certainly and affirmatively state that I am satisfied with the life that I have lived thus far. Not because things have been perfect, because there were some pretty dark days when I didn't think I'd survive, but because I have done the absolute best with the hand that God dealt me; and I'm not done yet.

 

No looking back

Many people spend the prime years of their life looking through the little rear view mirror reminiscing about what they coulda shoulda woulda at the expense of maximizing the here and now. They get all melancholy about missed relationships and blown opportunities. And rather than spending time building on today towards a better tomorrow, they end up stuck on the sticky glue trap of life.

But, with age comes wisdom right? 

In a recent survey conducted by Healthy Living, 2,200 women were asked what the perfect age is. In their responses, the perfect age ranged from 47-53 depending on a couple of factors; and from non-gender perspective 50 was chosen as the ideal age. 

So even if you're 50 and haven't lived your dream yet, there's plenty of time to get it done.

Here's a link to the article What's the perfect age?

The Mega Millions Question

So again I ask the question, if you were to die today would you be satisfied with the life you've lived? If it takes you longer than 10 seconds to answer this question you've got some work to do.

Your Assignment:

Make a list of all the things you've always wanted to do but haven't done yet; you can rank them in whatever order works best for you; cheapest, most expensive, most complex, most terrifying- whatever.

Now put a timeline together for your list and get busy living because if you're not living…you are certainly dying.

Life is a journey and the destination is life itself. 

"Once a year, go some place you've never been before."

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Keep Pushing - Your tank is not empty yet

Some people are simply obsessed about having a full tank of gas all the time. As soon as the needle hits 3/4 tank they're veering off the highway at record speed to get the tank back on full. Then there are others, and I'm guilty of this, who refuse to get gas until the needle is well south of empty. In fact, they'll even wait until the little red gas light comes on before refueling.

The interesting thing to note though is that even when that little red gas light comes on there is still gas left in the tank.   And although it's never a good thing to drive on E, sometimes it's necessary to push the evvelope a little.

To a great extent, the little red gas light is a metaphor for life. Right?

Sometimes you feel like your tank is on Empty; like you're about to run out of fuel. But just like you are able to push the car just a little bit further until you can refuel, you can push yourself just a little bit harder, just a little farther.

When you do, you'll get a second wind. Your empty tank is just a sign that you've used up your current capacity; what was originally there. Go get refueled and continue your quest today.

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Problems are Opportunities- Just Stay Motivated

My plan was to wake up, get myself ready for work, brew a cup of coffee and head to the train. However, as fate would have it, none of these things were to be. As I grabbed the coffee pot to wash it and brew my morning cup of Joe, I accidentally tapped the glass coffee pot against the granite countertop. Crack…ooops. The coffee pot lost. It wasn't a large crack but it was definitely large enough to prevent coffee from being brewed in it. What now I thought. Starbucks would be cool but that's totally in the opposite direction. Suddenly I had an idea, an epiphany. What if you insert a cup inside the coffee pot and then brew your coffee directly into the cup. Yea, that'll work I thought.

Well low and behold, my plan worked like a charm.  Just goes to show, with a little motivation any problem can be solved.

So here's the thing; life is not perfect; it was never meant to be. There will be days when Mr. Murphy will try to ruin your life; everything that can go wrong will, but one of the things that I've learned in life is that sometimes Problems are in fact Solutions in Disguise. When Mr. Murphy shows up, you have stare that sucker down like you used to back in the day; you know, when you had all that swagger, and let him know, "King Kong don't have nuthin on me."

When life deal's you problems, just think to yourself "damn I'm good, Damn I'm good," then brew yourself a cup of joe and go get em.

Stay motivated and you will overcome.

 

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Your Talents-Your Greatest Assets

Do you know what your talents are?  Are you maximizing your talents to make your life and the community in which you live work and serve a better place to be?  The fact is, many people, even though they are extremely talented, do not look at their talents as assets and as a result don't get as much as they should out of these assets.  But the most successful people in the world are successful because of how they've leveraged assets to create and sustain oportunities.

What is Talent?

A talent is defined as a natural ability. It's God given ability that a person is birthed with and comes to us naturally. I'll use myself as an example. Some of my natural talents include public speaking, singing, storytelling, athleticism, handiness. Because I am naturally capable in these areas, it takes very little effort for me to excel in activities when I use these talents.

When I am engaged in activities, that use these talents, they are both motivating and enjoyable. They motivate me from within which makes me want to continue doing them and they make me feel very happy; which also makes me want to continue doing them. It's the gift that keeps on giving.

Are talents and skills the same thing?

Well, yes and no; a talent is a skill but a skill is not necessarily a talent because skills can be learned. For example, someone who is not naturally athletic can learn how to play basketball - catch, dribble, pass, shoot, etc. These skills may not come naturally but they can be learned.

A Quest to find your talents

So as you are thinking about your own talent inventory, think about the things that just flow out of you. When you are in a situation that requires your particular talents you become incredibly motivated to use them and before you know it, you are fully engaged.

So if you are not sure what your talents are, here is an approach that has worked for me:

1. Do the raw talent brain-dump

Perhaps nobody knows you better that you. So find a quiet inspiring place where you can allow yourself to think freely. Now think through all the things you are just naturally good at and write them down as they come to you. Don't worry about the length of the list; it doesn't matter whether your list is long or short. Just make the list.

2. Ask someone else what your talents are

For some people, it's easier to gather information from others than to do the self-analysis. In that case you may want to just ask the people closest to you - loved ones, close friends, people you trust- what they think your talents are. Sometimes people will actually just volunteer the information in form of compliments; hey, you're so good at…

3. Observe Others

Another dead giveaway is when you find yourself analyzing the way other people do things and you instinctively see better ways to do the same thing. That's the voice of your inner talent talking to you.

In summary, our talents are God given abilities that each and every one of us has inside us. When we discover them, we can nurture and develop them so that we can put them to work; be it for Christian or community service,  professionally (work, business) or socially. 

Understand our talents will ultimately help to define our our ultimately purpose in life.

Do you know your ultimate purpose?

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How to stay married and live happily ever after

My wife and I have been to three weddings already this year and are on the way to a fourth this weekend.  Perhaps the reason why we keep getting invited is because of our marriage karma; LOL.

Seriously though, I was only 21 years old when my darling and I decided to tie the knot and an overwhelming majority of people around us, even my most cherished family members, tried to deter me from going through with it. 

Statistically, there was no shortage of reasons why it was not supposed to work:

• You're too young!
• You haven't been around the world yet!
• You need to finish school!
• You're not financially ready!
• You're not mature enough!
• You haven't sowed your wild oats!
• You don’t know what love is!

The truth is all these facts were true at the time but the real interesting thing is that not a single one of them became a barrier to a successful marriage.  I'm not saying that some of those truths didn't make building a solid marriage challenging, I'm just saying that none of them, or in fact any combination of them, we're formidable enough to prevent out marriage from succeeding.

For me, I took my vows seriously; for better, for worse, forever, as long as we both shall live meant - and still means - exactly that.  Even though I had no clue whatsoever how things were going to work out, I had faith, even at that age, that God would make a way.  There were days when my wife and I were relationally in different universes because of pride, arrogance, selfishness, stress, immaturity, and the like, but because we made a vow (of man and wife, forever, for life – Too Hot – Kool and the Gang), a covenant, we dug in deep and found the fortitude, the commitment, the gall, to
fight through the dark days and nights.  And here we are, thirty-one years later, happily married and still defying the odds. 

 Here are a few tips that I hope will help you to sustainyo ur marriage:

1.  Learn to love  pride soups- There is nothing worse for a relationship than too much
   pride.  Be humble and leave pride to fools; and since you are not a fool, that should be easy.
2.  Turn your sensitivity meter down - So what if she farts in the middle of a serious
   conversation.  It's just a fart man, just
   deal with it. 
3.  Say yes dear and mean it - There is an old saying that if momma ain’t happy, nobody’s happy.   An unhappy wife or mother makes for a very hostile household.  Figure out what it takes to make her happy. 
4. Find common ground - I've seen too many married couples stay married just because.  They have absolutely nothing incommon and do very little together.   In marriage you absolutely have to find things that you enjoy together.   That's what friends do right?  They spend time together. Spouses should, at least, be very good friends.
5. Travel together - One of the most amazing things about traveling, aside from the memories you make, is the opportunity to discover new things and share new experiences.  In the process you'll discover new things about each other too and new discoveries always lead to new excitements.
6. Put the toilet seat down – Nothing upsets a woman more than going to use the toilet and finding her hind quarters acquainted with cold porcelain in the wee hours of the morning;
   • Plus, no real man wants his woman to come back to bed with porcelain infused pee all over her hinny.  Not sexy.

    

What are your tips for staying married and living happily ever after?

 

 

 

Meaningful work is a lifelong quest

We're all on a quest to be and our quest takes us to different places at different times depending on where we are in our life. My quest at this juncture, this fork in the road, this intersection, is trying to make a decision between finding a meaningful job and adding embers to my entrepreneurial fire. One of the resources I've used over the years to aide in important decision-making is an audio series that was recorded by T.D. Jakes some years ago titled "The ten commandments of working in a hostile work environment."

One of the things that Jakes talks about is the fact that god did not intend for us to work for someone else our entire life. What he intends instead is for us to go to work to gain experience, and master our skills so that we can in turn go out and start our own businesses; use our skills and work experience to develop multiple steams of income.

What happens in life though is quite the contrary. We end up going to work for an employer who offers us all the things that we think we need but when you dig deep into it, what they're really offering is a pittance compared to what we're truly capable of achieving if we are able to overcome our fears and throw ourselves into our own endeavors the same way we throw ourselves into work. In fact, sometimes we don't throw ourselves into work the way we should because it simply doesn't offer the kind of personal satisfaction that we expect from such a high level of commitment.

I remember the first time I made my own spinning top, or gig as that call it back home in JA; I cut the branch from the tree, used a machete to carve and shape it, inserted a nail at the tip of it and then sanded it down until it was shaped perfectly. The feeling that I felt after spinning that top greatly surpassed the feeling I felt from spinning a store bought top; there was no comparison.

As I am thinking through this process I am starting to see exactly what Jakes meant. For most people, work can and will only get you but so far. Real wealth, real independence, real freedom, real happiness, can only come from getting out more than what you put in. So I've decided that I am on a quest to be my own boss, and even though I may work a job or two on my way there, when I get there it will be like a made my own top; my own gig and the work will be meaningful and satisfying.

Thought of the day: If you are on someone else's payroll you cannot define your own destiny.

Here are some resources to help you on your quest.

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Your Half Full Glass-Be Positive - Have Faith and Believe

Remember "The little engine that could?" The story about the little train engine that successfully pulled multiple times its own weight over a tall and very intimidating mountain after all the other very well equipped trains refused to even try?  The little red engine was an imp relative to the large and stealth looking engines, but the little engine had one ginormous advantage over the other engines; he had faith.  He believed that he could..and could he did.  In believing that he could pull that daunting load over that gigantic mountain, he was able to form a picture of himself in his own little red mind.  He thought that he could, believed that he would and he did it.  When it came time to pull that massive weight, all he had to do was tap into his half full optimism glass and start the journey.  “I think I can, I think I can….” 

 I’m a half full glass kind of guy for the most part.  That means that I usually look at things from an optimistic perspective.  No matter how negative, overwhelming or alarming a situation seems, I am always able to dig deep within the core, the inner orifice of the thing to find something positive and exploit to deliver positive results.  It’s just how I’m wired.   But, for every ounce of optimism, there is a pound of pessimism.  Optimism says “yes I can”, pessimism says “no you can't.”  Optimism says “will too” pessimism say “will not.”  If you’re not careful, glass half-empty pessimism will dissuade you from breathing the very air you need to survive.  Let’s face it; there is no greater idea killer, no greater killjoy, than the glass half-empty pessimist.  Just when you get yourself all psyched and ready to present your big idea, here comes half-empty with her double barrel shot gun, ready to shoot you down;  “well that’s never gonna work.”  “Why not?”  “It just wont.”

Why is that?  Well, what I've learned over the years is that half-empty pessimism is not necessarily saying that a thing is not possible or doable.  What half-empty is really saying is that I don't believe that a thing is possible or doable so prove it to me.  Big difference right?

The thing is, just because something seems possible or even probable, doesn't mean that it is easily doable; this where the glass half empty pessimism can make a big difference in our half-full thought process.  See, as glass half-full optimists we do not always look at all the challenges, obstacles and pitfalls that lay-wait along our journey.  We are usually so busy looking at possibilities that oftentimes we don't even see the obstacles; we look right pass them.  It's just natural, were optimists, we see the light in darkness.  

When probing questions are asked, questions that challenge our optimism, questions that we possibly haven’t thought of yet, they are sometimes perceived as criticism, as cynicism, as negativism, as pessimism.  But all half-empty is looking for is clarity; a reason to believe.

Over the years I have learned to temper my optimism enthusiasm with healthy critical analysis.  This is not just to combat those who are glass half-empty inclined but it is also a way for me to think deeper and more concretely about my optimism.  This also helps me to provide tangible examples so that so that I'm confronted by half-empty pessimists, I can help them believe.  As a glass half-full optimist the burden of proof is on your shoulders.  You have to figure out a way to help others believe in your optimism so that they can see the light.  

Believe so you can see

Yep, you read it right; believe it so that they can see it.   There is an old saying that seeing is believing but I’d like to re-coin that phrase as believing is seeing.   There are plenty of times when you are going to have to believe things that cannot yet see.  For example, if you’re taking a trip to a place that you have not yet seen, you have to first believe that it exists before you see it right?  The mind is the gateway to one’s eyes and your belief holds the keys to the gate.

A co-worker of mine was giving one his direct reports the “man-up” speech the other day when he told him that he needed to have a more half full glass attitude and apparently used me as a positive image for him to emulate.  The employee paused in bewilderment and responded, “why is he always so happy anyway?"  Well, gotta go, looks like a I have another half-empty glass to fill.

In your life's journey, if you believe it you will see. Try it.

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Find Balance - Zing Zang Your way to Equilibrium

When I was growing up as a kid in Jamaica we used to create and craft our own toys and games because we simply didn't have access to stuff. We were very creative too. One our fall back games, a staple game, was something we called zing zang. We search around to find a long enough plank and then use a tree stump or a big boulder or something as the fulcrum and voila, zing zang. Here in the states they call it a seesaw or a teeter-totter but it's essentially the same thing. One person sits on one end and another person sits on the other; when one person shifts her weight on her side it forces the other side to go up and down - hence the term teeter-totter or zing zang.

The thing about the zing zang is how challenging it is to maintain a balance or equilibrium. It is almost impossible for the zing zang to achieve equilibrium without an incredible amount of work and effort; even with two people on it, it's a challenge. The only way to achieve a perfect balance is if two people of equivalent proportion (size, weight, etc.) sit on each end and be perfectly still for a little while; then balance is achieved and the zing zang becomes perfectly horizontal as long as that balance is maintained. I told you it takes work didn't I?

In a sense, the zing zang is a metaphor for life, isn't it? We grow up, start families, get jobs and work to try and find happiness, success and satisfaction. We chase after the north winds and the south winds and we even chase when there is no wind, to try and find success, satisfaction and happiness. But one thing I have learned over the years is the importance of finding equilibrium in all this. Life is a fleeting thing; in a snap all the things that we amass from our chasings can be swiftly taken away. In all this, it is of critical importance to take some time to be still and find your balance.

I'm not saying that chasing after your dreams and the trappings that come along with them are all for naught; not at all. All I'm saying is that there is a certain balance to life and if you are not careful you will find yourself teetering over without ever being able to regain your balance. A recent example of this kind of teetering is Oscar Pistorious; who seems to be in a world of trouble because of his inability to find balance.

There is an old proven that states (paraphrased) that one hand of tranquility is better that two hands of hard work and changing after winds; it's akin to "a bird in the hand beats two in the bush."

In your quest to your destiny, be careful to not lose sight of zing zang because when it comes to living a complete and fulfilling life, balance - equilibrium - is everything.

If balance is a part of your quest, holla at me. Leave a comment. 

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